Saturday, November 8, 2014

12 steps for overcoming WORRY & MOVING ON

Life comes at us so fast that we fall into this whirlpool of emotions and feel trapped.   We get STUCK in the quick sand of life and don’t know how to move on or change.  

Do you feel like you start pulling yourself out of the quick sand and get sucked back in?   No matter how hard you try, you just can’t beat it or overcome life’s challenges or adversity.  

Maybe you forget about what’s important and how to make it better. Sometimes it is so easy to go back to comfort and give up on what you know God is calling you to do.  The biggest question is WHY?   Worry has replaced all your positive emotions.  60% of people won't go through the storm because the pain is to great.  Without even noticing it, WORRY is driving your life.   God is our center and the one that will get us through everything, yet we forget. We don't know how to include him  or understand what he wants.  God never promised we would not have storms he just promises he would always be with us.  Worry has replaced God and now worry has more power in your life than God.  This blog is one that will give you insight, tips and ideas to move on and out of the worry pool of life.     

Do you have Thoughts Of?
·         WHAT IF’s running through your head.
·         Maybe it would have been different if I would have
·         Maybe I should have said something different
·         I am tired of not having money or paying bills on time
·         I am sure I made the wrong decision
·         I screwed up
·         Today will be the day
·         I am giving up

Worry is a thought.  It is important to understand that you are more than your feelings.   If you are a chronic worrier chances are so were your parents.  It could also stem from feeling of abandonment, abuse, or a traumatic event.   Worry is the way you have trained your brain.  It has become the natural pattern to your emotions.   The best part is since it is a feeling and thought you can overcome it.  Today you will get 12 ways to overcome worry and retrain your brain.

First let’s dig deep into to what you are worrying about

Studies have shown: 
·         40% never happens – so in essence we are wasting our time by worrying.
·         30% of what we worry about has already happened. Learn to “let go” and forgive yourself and others. You cannot change the past – no one can. Accept it for what it is and go on.
·         12% are needless worries, such as what someone else thinks about us.
·         10% are petty and unimportant such as we worry about what’s for dinner, we worry about being late, we worry about what to wear.
·         8% of what we worry about actually happens. Of this percentage…
·         4% of our worries that happen are beyond our control. We cannot change the outcome. These worries may include our health, the death of a loved one or an impending natural disaster. Often times the reality of these events are more bearable than the worry.
·         4% of what we worry about we have some if not all control over the results. Basically I think this is the consequences of our actions or inaction on the problems and challenges we face.

Worry effects every department of your life.
Envision that you are a tree and every branch is being attacked by circumstances, situations, and life in general.   Worry is stealing all the nutrients from your tree and every bit of energy you have.  If you do not change it now.  Your tree will die.  You will soon be 80 years old with hundreds of regrets.    You can't control your house, job, kids, relationship and on and on.  

 How can you stop your worries?
The truth is you will never stop your worries 100% but you can control your attitude at every level to overcome your worries.
We train ourselves fix what is wrong.
 Worry never fixes anything.” – Mary Hemingway

IF you can put 100% into to knowing that you have done all that you can to alleviate your worries than it is time to stop letting the Worry tree consume your life.   The following solutions will help your tree come to life.  You do not have to resonate with all of them.  Pick the ones that will work for you.   Whichever step you decide to start with remember these 3 tips:  

  • ·         Control your attitude and win everyday
  • ·         Take action steps to accomplish what you need to
  • ·         Be dedicated to your decisions

Then you can

1. Prepare the outcome – Pray for the best.     No matter what you decide there will be an outcome to your decision or circumstance.  Prepare without over thinking it.  I do not believe that you should prepare for the worst.  What seems bad in the moment always has lesson attached to it.  It will give you ammunition to grow and learn from it.  What seems bad in the moment is Gold in the future.  Have you ever felt like a circumstances was the worst that could ever happen and in a few weeks you take a deep breath and think "wow where would I be had that not happened"?  Pray your way through it.   God has given you the power you need inside of you.   Pray for him to show it to you. This is just a season on your journey.    

2. Focus- Get your actions step list in full swing.  Once the feeling of worry arrives go to your to do list.  When you feel like you are accomplishing something a new feeling of success comes.  You have turned your negative thoughts into positive thoughts.   If you don’t have a list then write one by the departments of your life.  Take the action steps required to accomplish what is on your list.

3. Distract Yourself.  Just like when you were three.  The best way to stop a tantrum is to quickly distract the child.  Get their attention on something else.  Do the same for yourself.  Call your coach, friend or mentor.   You can watch your favorite movie, watch motivation videos from top speakers online.   Read a book or take the kids out for Fun. There’s dozens of things you can do pick one and distract yourself.

4. Get Support or the all famous VENT- It is ok to vent if you are not pulling someone else in to your craziness.   If you are talking to a friend who is having the same issues chances are you are not going to accomplish much.  Seek support.  Hire a life coach, talk to a pastor or a trusted friend, that is helpful not hurtful.  Sometimes just talking it out will heal your worries.  We hold it in and suppress the feelings and this causes a buildup of emotions.

5. Make a calculated choice or Decision.  Don’t make decisions based on your emotions.  Wait it out a few hours.   If this worry has been unresolved for some time it is time to make the decision and take action steps to resolve it but hold off on making an emotional decision.    Once you make a solid decision you can take necessary steps to improve your situation or circumstance...

6. Hit the Problem Head On.  Most of the time it is not the problem itself that is causing your worry. It’s usually the anticipation of the problem.  Not only are you worried but now you are afraid of disappointing others or making a wrong choice.  If you are aware of the problem and hit it head on even though it will not feel great in the moment it will feel great when it’s done. 

7. Breath- When you feel your body going into the state of worry it is time to breath.  Lay flat on your back, clear your mind and take deep deep breathes.  Blow them in and out.  Pray and talk to God.   This will clear the tension in your body.  When you get up you must say the words REWIND and then go.  Embrace the new start and try hard to not let your mind go back into the state of worry.    

8. Fun- Fun brings feelings of happiness.  Laughter can cure anything that is in the moment.  Laughter & smiles will lift you up and return your mind and emotions back to a healthy state.  Fun must be part of everyone’s life.  Turn the music on a get moving.   Don’t just turn it on feel it.  Get your hips moving and breath.  Do something out of your comfort zone.  Remember a time that gave you the feeling of happiness and laughter. 

9. Write it down- Writing it down will get your hamster off the wheel.  If you keep it in your mind you will think about the same thing over and over.  Get it out of your mind and on paper.  It will relieve it.  We are so worried that we will forget what we want to say that keep thinking the same thing over and over...  Focus on getting it out then you can focus on improving the situation and move on.

10. Take Care of You. You get stuck on thinking that taking care of you is selfish and it is not.  You must take care of YOU.  If you do not you are no good to anyone else.  You need REST, exercise and eat a healthy diet.  When your mind is at its strongest it is so easier to put things in perspective. It’s easier to deal with the unexpected.

11. Be Grateful. You have a lot to be thankful for. It may not seem like it all the time.  IF you can focus on what is positive in your life rather than negative you will thrive.  Although its seems like there is so much going on in the world but there always has been.  It is just life.  We live in a beautiful world and your life can be beautiful.  Be Thankful for your health, your family, your mind, your house, your job, and all the little things we have.  Remember who you are and who gave your life.  He can help you conquer anything.

12. Fuel Your Body.  Remember thoughts are trained.  Fuel your body with good things.  Stay away from the negative things happening in everyday life.  If you are already a worrier than you must stay away from negative things, people and situations.  Turn the news off and un friend a few people on Facebook.  Being aware is where starts and taking action steps to change it is a necessity.  Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.  Hang positive thoughts through out your home or on your desk.  Surround yourself with happiness.

Accountability Coach, Leisa Jenkins 

Check out this list of top 30 worries. (From  What worries do you have?   
1. Stomach/ being overweight
2. Getting old
3. Lack of savings/ financial future
4. Overall fitness
5. Overdrafts and loans
6. Low energy levels
7. Credit card debt
8. Paying rent/mortgage
9. Job security
10. Diet
11. Keeping the house clean
12. Finding a new job
13. Sex life
14. Generally unhappy
15. Wrinkles or ageing appearance
16. Whether or not I am attractive
17. Physique
18. Meeting work targets or goals
19. Does my partner still loves me
20? Whether I'll find or / are am with the right partner
21. Whether I'm in the right career
22. Friend or family issues
23. Parenting skills
24. Unhealthy reliance or addiction
25. Driving
26. Pet's health
27. Child's health
28. Dress sense
29. Worrying I'm ill but yet to be tested/ seek help
30. Partner is cheating/may cheat
Top ten symptoms of worry
1. Sleepless nights
2. Lost confidence
3. Arguments with partner
4. Reduced appetite
5. Poor performance at work
6. Distance from partner
7. Avoided a social event
8. Increased alcohol consumption
9. Got a bit paranoid
10. Nausea